I’m officially on day seven of my month+ sabbatical. Sabbatical, originating from the word Sabbath or seventh day, a day of rest. I quickly realized that the change to a slower pace was incredibly welcomed and needed. I’m not rushed or anxious and it creates a wide angle view the world around me. I can see and appreciate simple things that would otherwise go unnoticed. I’ve spent a lot of time with the dog and my thoughts.
Hope, our dog, has reminded me how fun it is to run, chase things and play. She frequently brings me different toys throughout the day with the look of excitement. Just a five minute engagement with Hope to throw the ball brings on a smile and sense of joy. If Hope gets in one of her signature springy bounces, it’s even better!
My thoughts are still a bit fragmented, and at times they come in like a flood. I can feel glimpses of them coming together but know this will take dedicated attention. Two themes are emerging and help me set intentions each day.
First, to connect with my girls more deeply. This is a lot easier said than done. We all have our routines and patterns. Liz is SO on-top of their activities and daily needs; she’s owned and managed them for the last four years. Wow - that is a serious job! What are the things that I can bring to Maya and Dena that are different? Connecting with who I am allows me to identify the values and experiences that complement the full and rich lives they (we) already have. My passion for creating through art, building and cooking jump out. Or for listening to them express any emotion and accept it. An early lesson on this journey was the requirement to shed any expectations I have of them or of what the outcomes will be. This seems so obvious but need to hold onto it closely.
Second, to take care of myself. Months of injuries and signals from my body needing to recover have forced me into a different mindset. My routine for the last two years was an all-out fight/flight pace from 4:30am through 8pm…super powers required at all hours. It started with a 4:30am alarm moving directly into a heart pumping 100% intensity workout -> rushing into work and landing in my office by 6:45am (shower optional/rare) ->pushing hard all day until 5:30pm with no breaks to -> rushing home to cook, clean, putting kids to sleep by 7:30/8pm and prepare my shit to do it all again the next day. Having strength to give fully of myself to my girls, to Liz or even to me was no where in sight. I haven’t quite figured out much on this theme aside from working-out an hour later, taking a shower and sitting down for breakfast. Even this simple change has allowed for more healing in my ankle/hip and more energy at night.
As my journey continues, I hope to share more about the experiences and things I learn. More to come soon…